


I, The Trampled Flower

by Nour



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eren is 15, Eventual Levi/Eren Yeager, F/F, F/M, First Meetings, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Gangs, Hallucinations, Implied Reiner Braun/Bertolt Hoover, Killing, M/M, Minor Krista Lenz | Historia Reiss/Ymir, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Running Away, Violence, While Levi is 28
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-07-29
Updated: 2014-07-29
Packaged: 2018-02-10 20:54:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,128
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2039772
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nour/pseuds/Nour
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eren Yeager is apart of the very prominent gang known as, "The Titans." The gang holds five members, including Eren. Though, he wasn't exactly apart of this gang by choice. His father, was the one who actually formed the gang, along with the father of Reiner Braun, a current member of the gang.</p><p>Eren despised the idea of being this gang at first, but after his first mission his eyes became clouded in bloodlust and he actually enjoyed killing, that is until one mission went terribly wrong.</p><p>Now he finds himself here, away from his gang life and on the streets, yearning for a ray of hope.</p><p>And it comes.</p><p>Enter, Levi Rivaille, a barista with an average life. He has a roof over his head, a job, food on the table, and a loving girlfriend. Well, his average life is about to change when he runs into Eren Yeager on the streets, and immediately feels the need to allow this young boy into his life, whilst trying to avoid his already blooming feelings for the boy.</p><p>(Gomenasai! This summary probably doesn't sound too interesting, nor does it explain much, but I swear a lot will be explained in the first chapter! I just had a lot of trouble explaining the plot.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	I, The Trampled Flower

_At first, I never really cared much for my father's gang. In fact, I didn't want any part of it. There was no moral when it came to killing people for no reason. It disgusted me. Apparently, my father's gang was quite the bunch. It rivaled many other fearsome gangs, especially when it came down to criminal acts. It was so powerful that only five members were needed for it to succeed._

_My father, is quite the heartless man, god knows how many lives he has stolen, never feeling any remorse for his victim's. I hated him. I hated the way he saw the world. He once told me, "Son, the world is based on social status. People are always ranked from low to high, but us. We are not ordinary people, we have more power than anyone could ever dream of having. The world to people like us, is just a world filled with maggots that need to be squashed."_

_That day, when he said that to me, I wanted to scream at him. Tell him, the way he saw the world and it's people was revolting. I wanted to etch into that thick skull of his that people do matter, no matter of their social status, or how much power they contained, but I always knew better than too defile my father. Like I said, he is a heartless man and if I ever did anything to question him or his ways, I would be the next person on his hit list, no matter my relation to him._

_You know, I used to think of killing myself. To free myself from the chains my father had kept me in, that way I could escape this horrible reality and join my mother in heaven. Actually, I never truly met my mother. My father had told me she had passed away shortly after giving birth to me. He also told me that it saved him a step, that he only needed her to conceive a child, and afterwards he would have disposed of her. He made me boil in anger when he said that, I have never wanted to kill him more than ever that day._

_My father, was a truly heartless man._

 

~~~~~~

"Eren." A muffled voice had said. "Eren, wake up. It's time for your first mission."

I groaned in my sleep, pulling the covers over my head, as if it would completely block out the sound of the voice. "Eren." The voice repeated, a little more harshly this time and began to yank on my covers. I was highly aware of whom that voice belonged too. It was my personal trainer, Mikasa.

"Ugh." I groaned once more. "I already told my father I don't want to be apart of his stupid gang."

"Eren, you have too. You don't really have a choice, and don't you remember? Your father did not accept taking no for answer."

My eyes twitched open at this, she was right. I remember a little over four months ago, I had finally mustered up the courage to tell my father that I would never join his gang, regardless of the consequence he would give me. Sure, I did expect some physical abuse, but not being shot in the shoulder. He told me that was a warning shot and that he would not allow to converse in any life, besides the life of continuing his legacy.

As much as I didn't want to admit it, I was actually scared of my father after that. He shot me with no hesitation, not even a small flinch, and ever afterwards he had no regret in his eyes. It became clear to me that if I did one more thing to defile him, it would be off with my head.

After that incident, I began training with Mikasa, whether I wanted too or not.

It was tough, constantly having too wake up super early in the morning, working on my physical endurance, and just overall keeping up with Mikasa. She meant business, and she was incredible when it came to hand to hand combat, which she had used on me many time, much to my dismay.

Though, she had said that hand to hand combat was only used as a backup when it came to actual missions. Gangs were evidently more dependent on weapons, rather than physical fighting skills. My weapon of choice, being a Berretta M9, it's a semi-auto handgun with amazing durability, reliability, and accuracy. Plus, the recoil when it shoots is very low, which makes it easier for me.

The first time I used it, I was rather hesitant because I had never actually handled a gun before, but Mikasa guided me through it, making sure I had proper stance and that I kept calm when firing.

It was quite a shock really because I actually managed to hit all of the targets on the bulls eye on my first try.

After my handgun lessons, came my knife throwing lesson. In order for me to master this difficult lesson, I needed extreme precision and accuracy. You couldn't throw knives, willy-nilly. Mikasa had explained to me that knife throwing was also a backup, and was only needed if your target managed to escape and was on the move. She had also said, that throwing the knives at higher positions wouldn't really get you that far and said it was best to aim for lower weak spots, such as the Achilles tendons above the heel of a foot. To manage that, like I said before, you needed accuracy and precision.

It was best to stand in a crouch-like stance, and angle your arm in inwards towards your torso, as if you were about to throw a Frisbee, but you also needed momentum. So when you shot your hand forward it would be thrown in a fast pace so it could reach the target faster.

It was a couple hard months top endure, but luckily I managed and I earned praise from my father, and he said I was now eligible and prepared to be apart of his gang.

I let out a sigh, as I finally returned to reality and turned to face Mikasa. "You're right, I don't have a choice. As much as it sucks, I don't." I said, with a hint of sadness in my voice. Mikasa gave me a little apologetic smile, and rose to her feet.

"Anyways, you have thirty minutes to get ready. Also, your father would like to speak to you about your big day in his office before you go."

"I understand." I replied, forcing myself out of bed.

"And Eren."

"Huh?"

"Good luck." She said and leaned down to place a chaste kiss on my cheek. I couldn't hide the way a blush crept too my cheeks, after the deed was done. "Thanks." I said, in a small whisper and touched my cheek in which she had marked.

~~~~~~

Here I was, standing at my father's office door. I let out a small gulp, and gripped the door knob, twisting it ever so slightly and finally pushing the door open.

As soon as I stepped in, my father's gaze was locked on me. "Ah, Eren. It's good to see you my boy." He said, as he placed his pen down.

"Good morning, father." I managed to say. "You ready for your big day?" He asked, while leaning back in his chair and folding his arms. "Well to be honest, not really. You know, considering I was sort of forced into this lifestyle." I said, taking a seat on a sofa right across from his desk.

He chuckled. "Oh Eren, you were always going to be apart of this lifestyle whether you intended too or not. Besides, it's not all bad. Think about the power you will feel once you finally take your first kill."

"I doubt it." I muttered.

"Your mother would be so proud of you, following in your father's footsteps, I a-"

"Don't you dare speak of my mother!" I abruptly snapped, while rising from my seat. My eyes glaring at him, and my fists clenching. He let out another low chuckle. "I honestly do not understand how you can be so defensive about your mother, when you never even knew her."

"I might not of known her, but I know that you used her! And I know that she wouldn't have wanted this for her child! She didn't have your upbringing, father. You fed her lies, claiming that everything you did, you did for the greater good." I shouted, not aware that my eyes were damp and tears were falling down my cheeks.

"Well, that was her mistake for actually falling for my lies, and falling in love with me."

"Tell me father, did you even love my mother? Even just a little?"

He smirked, and my glare intensified. "Not ever my boy. That woman was a damn fool, and she was only good for one thing and one thing only, and that was conceiving you. My son. The one who would carry out my legacy. I was never interested in having a partner anyways, women are just so clingy and are only filled with want and desire. I didn't have time for pesky women, I just needed to have sex with one so I could receive the offspring."

I collapsed to my knees when he said this, the tears flooding out and I couldn't control them. "How could you toy with her feelings like that..." I asked quietly, through choked sobs. "How could.. she ever fall for a man like you.."

"How indeed." My father said, and I could hear him rise from his seat and approach me. He crouched down to my level and leaned in towards my ear. "Eren, just be lucky your mother died the way she did. If she would have lived after your birth, I would have shown her a death filled with pain you couldn't even imagine." He said to me in a low, raspy, and sadistic voice.

My eyes widened and my body was trembling. "Now, get up and join the others in the courtyard. You have wasted enough time with this little outburst of yours."

I weakly rose to my feet, and didn't dare to look at my father nor tell him goodbye as I turned on my heel and began to exit. 

"Eren."

"Don't fail me, you incompetent child."

_Indeed, my father was a truly heartless man._

~~~~~~~~

My father had told me that it was my responsibility to take claim over his gang once I came of age, and evidently coming of age to my father meant fifteen years old. Along with me, four other members were to join the gang as too follow in their parent's footsteps, and from what Mikasa told me these four members came willingly into the gang life, unlike me.

I knew little about them. I only knew that my father, along with a man named Jude, whom was the co-founder of the gang had a small rivalry when it came to their sons.

I have heard of about Jude's son, Reiner. He was blonde and bulky and apparently he was someone who you didn't want to mess with. He was probably the best gang member out of all of us, offspring wise.

Which is why Jude argued that Reiner should be the head of the gang and not me. I honestly didn't want too be the head of the gang, and I would happily give the position to Reiner, but unfortunately if I did that I would have a bullet in my head before I could even blink, so I just had to deal with it.

The other three member's names were Ymir, Annie, and Bertolt.

When I first met these three, they seemed quite intimidating. Especially Annie. She just appeared to have this aura around her that said. 'Touch me, and I'll shove my foot up your ass while I carelessly choke the life out of you.' So I opted to stay away from her as much I could.

Then there was Ymir who seemed to be the silent yet deadly type. She didn't talk much, hence the silent part, but when it came to combat she was a force to be reckoned with. I have approached her once though, and we even engaged in a conversation too my surprise.

She told me that she thought this entire gang idea was completely stupid in her opinion, but yet she enjoyed the thrill of missions and seeing the life leave from her victim's eyes, which automatically made me want to punch her in the face, but I didn't. She then said that she wished she never grew up this way and she wishes that she could just run away from it all, and that she felt disgusted with herself every time she was thrilled with taking a life. She didn't want to feel that way, but she always did. Finally, she said the gang life had been taking a toll on her personal life. She has a girlfriend named Krista, whom she says is constantly worrying about her safety every time she leaves to go on missions.

She also appeared to question her relationship, she had asked Krista once why she continued to stay with her when she did so many terrible deeds, and Krista had said. "Because in my opinion, there are two Ymir's. The one with a killing intent, and another in which she loved dearly. The one with a pure kind soul, who I am always looking forward to seeing, because I know that Ymir will never be completely consumed by her counterpart."

Ymir said it hurt her so much when Krista said that, but she couldn't find herself being mad at Krista, and she claimed she understood what she meant.

I felt bad for Ymir, and it almost made me feel glad that I wasn't emotionally attached to anyone, or else that would make life an even more living hell for me.

Finally, there was Bertolt who seemed very timid in my opinion. He always apologized every time he messed up in training, and he seemed to idolize Reiner, though Reiner appeared to be oblivious to Bertolt's admiration for him. I don't really know too much about him, but I really didn't really care to get to know any of them. Minus Ymir, who was surprisingly very open.

"Oi, Yeager." A deep voice shouted bringing me out of my daze. "What took you so long? We need to leave soon."

I turned my attention over to the voice and realized it was Reiner. "Oh um sorry, I was having a talk with my father." I replied, awkwardly scratching the back of my head.

"All right, now that we have all gathered let's head down to the base." The base was basically where members would form strategies and map out before the missions.

We all nodded in unison and followed Reiner into an underground passageway that led to the 'base.'

~~~~~~

"All right, I have the map of the headquarters that we were instructed to infiltrate. Our main objective is not breaking in though, we have somebody on our hit list that needs disposing of." Reiner said.

"Yeager, since you will be the soon to be head of the gang I expect you too be explaining the basics to us in later missions, I am only doing it now because I realize that you received your training later from the rest of us, but next time you'll be the stepping up to the plate, got it?"

"Roger." I said, managing not to make my voice waver. Reiner was right, I wasn't exactly trained like they were at younger ages, and my father hadn't really explained why my training would happen later than theirs.

"Anyways, Annie, Ymir. We need you two too take out the guards from the lower levels, from floors one too six. Meanwhile, Bertolt you will be in charge in tampering with the main security cameras, make sure you shut them down and contact me after that. I will take care of the guards on floors seven through ten. Eren, you have the most important role. You will take out the CEO of the Military Police, he will be in the main office on floor ten, wait for my signal before proceeding the kill."

My eyes widened at this, "Wait, wait, wait!" I blurted. "Why do I have to take out the CEO? You seem more fit for the job, Reiner."

"Don't question my orders Yeager." Reiner quickly spat. "Your father told me to give you this job, if he didn't I would have gladly done it with no objections, so don't whine about it like the little baby you are and just do it, okay?"

I tried to ignore that you kind a stung being called a baby, and I didn't reply with any retort. Simply saying, "Yes sir. May I ask though, why are we targeting such a big company like the Military Police?"

"Isn't it obvious?" Annie questioned. "Money of course, that is our main priority. We get the code out of that old geezer then kill him, simply as that."

I nodded, not wanting to push the subject any further.

"Okay, now that we all know our roles, let's grab our weapons and move out." Reiner said. "And also, this is our first mission so let's try not to disappoint our parents." He said, and his eyes automatically landed on me. Yup, I was in deep shit.

~~~~~~

This was the moment. The moment were I would take my first life. I let out a sigh, and awaited the signal of Reiner. Who was currently in the hallway of the tenth floor, disposing of the rest of the guards and office workers, and here I was ten stories up, scaling the wall and just hanging on for dear life.

I gulped, when suddenly my ear piece went off and Reiner's voice was on the other line. "Okay Eren! The time is now, engage!"

I sucked in a breath and closed my eyes, counting back from five.

_1, 2, 3, 4...., 5!_

I shot through the glass and landed in a crouch position, but I quickly rose and pulled out of my gun aiming straight at this man's head.

"Up!" I shouted in a demanding voice, and I watched as the man flinched, but obeyed. I glanced down at his desk to see his business card. 'Nile Dok' It read. I shook my head and returned my gaze to the man. "All right, Nile Dok. As you can see you are being held at gunpoint, and I would like to advise you for future reference that you shouldn't even bother to call for your little bodyguards, because my gang has already taken them out."

"Y-You're bluffing, I have over thirty guards on each floor, there is no w-way that you could have possibly killed them all."

I smirked, and turned on my ear piece. "Bertolt, send the footage to Mr. Dok's computer."

"Roger." He replied.

"Oh believe me when I tell you, that I am in no way bluffing. Have a look for yourself." I say, using my gun to point at his computer. He was hesitant at first, but slowly he drifting his gaze towards his computer screen and his entire expression was filled with shock.

"That's not possible.." He whispered. "My guards.. killed by only three people.."

"Quite a shock, I know. Now, let's cut the chatter. Tell me the code to your company's funds."

"No please! I have worked decades on getting this company too where it is now! Please don't! I be-"

"Shut up!" I yelled. "I don't give a damn about your company, all I care about is the wealth. Now, tell me the code before I fucking shoot you straight through that wrinkled forehead of yours."

"Please! Anything but th-" I cut off him quickly, by firing a warning shot at his shoulder. "Tell me the god damn code!" I yelled, getting annoyed. The man clutched his wound, and gave me a pained look before saying. "Okay... I'll tell you. It's TE090H87K28."

"You better not be lying." I said, ice in my voice as I stepped over to his computer, and opened up the tab which had the passcode entry. I typed it while still raising my gun at him, and shooting him glances while typing.

 _Access Granted_ And automated voice said, and the funds were all there. I smirked before depositing all the funds into our account. Well, our secret account. Bertolt had tampered with it, so no one would be able to find out where the money had been deposited into.

I let out a sigh of relief and turned towards the man. "Thank you for your services, Mr. Dok. Though, unfortunately you are no longer needed." I said, and gave him an innocent smile. "Farewell."

"Wait! No! I th-"

Before he could finish, I had fired my Berretta M9 and the bullet had went straight through his forehead, just like I had planned.

I watched as the body fell onto the floor, lifeless.

"Not bad, Yeager. Not bad." I heard Reiner say in the doorway. I simply nodded and I couldn't shake the feeling that I actually enjoyed killing him. 

I was already becoming the person I didn't want to be, I was becoming a _heartless man._

~~~~~~

Shortly after our first mission, I took my rightful position as the head of the gang and I became clouded with bloodlust. Much to my inner dismay. My father was very proud though, no surprise there, and I began to get treated with respect from the other gang members.

Mission after mission, I killed. And I liked it, I fucking liked it.

It didn't matter what the mission was, if it involved people of high status or just basic civilians, I killed no matter what.

I was prepared and determined for every single mission. Killing with ease and earning praise from my fellow gang members and my father. Though, I wasn't prepared for the events that would take place on this one mission. This terrible mission. My final mission.

The mission was actually against another gang, and it took place in an alleyway near a convenience store. This gang has been causing trouble for our gang, taking out worthy targets that we intended to do in the future, and it really started to bug us. So we needed them out of the picture.

"Well, well. If it isn't the gang known as 'The Titans' ya know, we have heard lots about you guys. How you are stronger than the majority of the gangs in Stohess. Only needing five members." A member of the opposing gang has spat.

"We don't find you guys scary or intimidating at all. In fact, we are going to overthrow your rule. We are the Garrison Gang, and we plan to take you guys out."

The threat, did not phase us though. We all remained stoic, until Reiner spoke. "Oh? Take us out? Well then, by all means give it a shot."

The Garrison Gang all smirked, and one member shot forward. With the intent of taking out Annie.

Huge mistake.

Annie quickly kneed the man before he could even lay a finger on her, and she withdraw her gun, shooting him in the chest. The Garrison members expressions quickly changed as they watched one of their members go down without a single punch. I couldn't help but smirk as Annie showed no emotion to her victim she had just killed.

"Why you! You'll pay for this!" A member shouted, and the Garrison all withdrew their guns and knives and leaped forward at us.

Immediately their bullets went flying, and we were quick to dodge. I withdrew my throwing knives and sucked in a breath, before jumping to dodge some bullets and throwing the knives straight at the nape of the neck, for two of the members.

I pulled out my gun and struck a final blow, by shooting them through their heads. After that, I managed to take out two more members. Using my gun, and close combat.

As I looked around, I saw there was one final member left and I watched as he trembled in fear.

"Please don't kill me!" He begged, but it did not phase me as I aimed my gun at him.

And I was just about to pull the trigger when someone get in the way. "Please stop mister!" A high pitched voice yipped.

My eyes widened as I saw a little girl, standing in front of the Garrison member. Her eyes were filled with tears and she was shaking. "Please don't hurt this man! Can't you see that he isn't aiming a gun at you! So why do you have to shoot him?" She asked, her voice trembling. "Why must you kill?" She whispered, and at that, I froze.

 _"Why must you kill?"_ Her words kept repeating in my head, and they wouldn't stop.

"Eren!" A voice called. "The hell are you doing? Who cares about this damn brat? Kill her, and then kill him, before I do." I managed to turn my head slightly at Reiner, who was standing next to me glaring.

"I... c-can't.." I whispered. 

"The hell you just say?" Reiner said, grasping my shoulders. "I can't.." I repeated, my voice hoarse.

"Oh for fuck's sake." Reiner said, and pulled out his gun. "No!" I yelled and gripped his arm. "Don't!"

"Eren let go!" He yelled, and tried to struggle free from my grasp.

"No!" I yelled again, and I managed to grab his gun, but not before towered over me and tried his hardest to grab the gun back, and somehow we managed to switch angles so that we were both facing the girl, when my finger slipped on the trigger, and then.

_Pop._

I watched in horror as the girl was hit with a bullet. A few lingering tears fell from her eyes, and her last word was. "Why...?" Before she collapsed to the ground.

I dropped the gun, while falling to my knees. My entire body shaking and my eyes wide.

I have stolen countless of innocent lives, so why? Why did seeing her die, hurt me so much inside? Maybe it's because she had her whole life ahead of her and I stole it, I stole it before she could even begin to living to the fullest.

Tear drops began to fall from my eyes and onto the ground. I was horrified with myself, even though I had finally been brought out of this bloodlust, I got out of it by stealing a life of an innocent child.

"Great. He got away." Reiner said, while pinching the bridge of his nose. "Well, I am sure one weakling like him won't do much. We pretty eliminated the entire gang. So we should probably head back.

"Eren?" Reiner said, kneeling down and shaking me. "Oi, Eren." He repeated and snapped his fingers in front of my face.

I didn't want this anymore, I didn't want any part of this. I never did, I was just so consumed and it turned into a monster. I needed to get away, I needed to escape. I looked up slowly, and glared at Reiner. "I'm done." I said, and I quickly socked him in the nose, actually managing to send him back a few.

I got up in haste and began to run down the other end of the alley. I could hear Reiner groan in pain, and he shouted to the others. "After him!"

I sped up my pace, my legs barely able to carry me, but I had to keep going. Either run or die. I panted as I looked over my shoulder to see Annie, Ymir, and Bertolt following me in pursuit. "Faster." I whispered to myself, "I have to run faster."

I finally made it out of the alley and onto the streets, where it was mostly abandoned considering this wasn't a very lively neighborhood. I looked from left to right, and noticed a sign that said. 'Subway Station.' I nodded to myself and ran towards it, praying I would make it on the subway before those three could as well.

I looked back to see them rounding the alleyway corner, just as I was heading down the subway staircase, and too my luck. It was just boarding. I ran towards the subway entrance, just as the doors were about to close, until I barely made it in time. I gasped out, catching my breath as I looked through one of the subway windows to see Ymir, Bertolt, and Annie all just standing there, watching as the subway was taking off. Then Annie mouthed something that made me shiver. 'We will find you.' Were her words, and I closed my eyes backing up onto a subway seat and honestly not really caring where I would end up, just as long as I am away from Stohess.

~~~~~~

So, here I am now. In Shinganshina. Miles and miles away from Stohess, and I couldn't be any happier. Though, one thing kind a puts a damper on my situation. I had no money.

I sighed as I walked the streets of Shinganshina. It was late, and not many people were out walking out the streets, only very few. Other than that it was quite quiet. I had nowhere to go, I'll probably die from starvation or get jumped or something. I probably deserve dying though, I will die with my guilt, and I will die any way possible as long if it isn't done by the hands of any members of the gang. Or my father.

I was so lost in my thoughts that I hadn't even noticed I bumped into someone, and sent the person toppling down with me following in tow.

"Oi!" He yelled, and I adjusted my view to get a better look at him. He was absolutely beautiful. He had narrowed icy blue eyes, and ebony hair that was trimmed into an undercut. He wore an irritated expression and he tried to hard to push me off.

"Oi, brat! Get off me."

Suddenly, I broke down right in front of him. "I am really sorry..." I said, and his expression stiffened as soon as my tears fell onto his pale face. "I could really use a hug right now." I whispered and I encircled my arms around him, and cried into his shoulder.

I could feel him tense, but he didn't push me away. He just sat there and let me embrace him.

And for some reason, I felt closure.

**Author's Note:**

> I am really sorry if this is a bit rough around the edges.
> 
> I don't really know much about gangs and stuff like that. XD
> 
> Also, I did some research on Eren's gun and sorry if any information is incorrect.
> 
> Anyhoo, kudos and comments are appreciated!
> 
> Oh, and also. Levi's POV will be the next chapter, so yeah. XD
> 
> And in case you are confused by how the girl was even in that alleyway, well like I said. The alleyway they were in was close to like a small mini-mart, and they were in a pretty remote area of town so not many people lived there, and the girl heard was what going on in the alleyway and came rushing in. o3o


End file.
